HOW TO UNLEARN THE LOVE YOU LEARNED FROM THE ONE YOU LOVED
For the past couple of months, a lot of things had happened. More on life full of expectations and heartbreaks, I would say. It indeed put me adrift where I thought I wouldn't be able to get out.
And that is why I came up with this post, this life-awakening post.
As you all know of what I'm talking about, it still goes down into this one crazy love-affair drive that I had with Mark. It has been happening for a couple of months, and that undying love that I have for him is just something I cannot undo anymore. It's like the reset button got fried, so eventually there's no way for me to go back.
Now, I am teaching myself how to unlearn the love you learned from the one you loved.
Based on how I look at things from my own perspective, compared to how 80% of the community looks at it. I have come up with 8 different ways that will be very effective for someone to use to unlearn everything from the love of his or her life.
1. DECLUTTER HIS/HER EVERYTHING
— One basic form of unlearning everything from that person that you once loved is by knowing everything that they have that could remind them of you. Photos, videos, gifts, and places you go to are some things that will enable you to remember, but avoiding and removing it permanently from your life will definitely help.
2. SPEAK HIGHLY OF THEM
— I know most of you will pretty much say, "Why and how did I even get this idea? Why do we have to do it?" But come to think of it, it's a very therapeutic way of releasing negative endorphins in your body, transforming them into one big positive endorphin.
Saying good things about them for others and making them look good instead of bad will help you heal much faster and will also help your surroundings cope with the fact that you yourself will not look aggravated about what is happening hence, you're helping yourself move on alongside the people you care about.
3. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF BEING "CAUGHT OFF GUARD."
— You may think that you're in a full wheel of fortune on moving on to what you currently have, but be aware that in this game, being caught off guard will take you back to Day One. Most especially if you're all thinking daisies and unicorns, talking to your friends like nothing happens until you look sideways and see him/her looking at you, it will refresh your memories and will make you vulnerable like the way you were the first time you got hurt.
Always make sure to remind yourself every day that you are moving on to get better and it will not include him/her anymore.
4. CHOOSE BETWEEN IGNORE OR JUST AVOID THEM
— There are a lot of instances that you can never run away from only because you work or live near them, so asking yourself either to ignore or avoid them will actually be one of the most effective ways possible to unlearn everything. It will not help you un-love them, but it will cease to make you learn more from them.
5. FIND YOUR HAPPY OUTLET
— Having your personal happy outlet would be necessary since this phase you're going into is a never-ending war with your emotions, one day you're good, the next day, you're a mess. So it is better for you to find yourself a happy pill that will constantly make you happy and will help you catch that negativity as it comes out of your system. It could be a friend, a hobby, a new diet, or a new guy that will help you pass through the phase.6. MAKE YOURSELF AS COLD AS POSSIBLE *NOT LITERALLY
— For you to unlearn everything, it's not only physical and mental, it is also emotional. So for you to get back up on your feet and for you to stand tall, be proud, and be amazing for the second time around, you have to learn how to be cold. Never let your heart win this time. It's a game you should never be losing at again, you can never afford to lose, or else you'll wreck again. As you move on, you have to make yourself cold to your emotions.7. NEVER STOP ASKING YOURSELF, "WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO THIS?"
— You may think that this one suggestion here is nonsense because it won't help you, but come to think of it. Every time you get to cross eyes with him/her, every everytime you see him/her laughing, and every time you see something that will remind you of him/her, it will drag you back to being weak; hence, you will not be able to continue working your way to the top on how you'll unlearn everything. It will bring you back to square one, which in fact is never going to be helpful because for the longest run, the only thing you wanted to happen is to move on.So every single time that something or someone reminds you of him/her, ask yourself, "Why do you need to do this?"
—
We have reached the last part of this post, you'll probably realize how to manage things from here, and I'm sure you also have an action plan moving forward.
So before I continue with number 8, I just want you to know that no matter how hard it is that you're facing right now, always remember that there are a lot of people who care for you and love you that can help you.
Never take the road alone, I took the road alone. It makes me an everyday wreck, a day-to-day mess, and a constant disappointment to myself because every time I say to myself that I had moved on already, little do I realize as I see him laugh again, BOOM! Back to square one, crying myself to sleep, helpless and powerless.
So my advice is for you to seek help from those who you really love. They might not understand how it feels, but they will never bail on you.
8. CONSTANT SELF-APPRAISAL
— I know this is the only easy step, but trust me, it's not. Moving on from someone you really love is never an easy thing, because every day you will remember those moments/memories that you had together, which were so much fun and had so much laughter that they made you realize it was possible to happen but never gave you any hint that it could go away like a snap.
So my final and last piece of advice is to congratulate yourself for every little thing that you will accomplish while you're in the process of moving on. Even baby steps! Because it counts. Never fail to praise yourself for all the successful actions that you've been doing to make yourself better.
Always tell yourself how you love yourself and how much you'll give in, just to keep it that way.
Because at the end of the process of moving on, you'll realize one huge thing that you have forgotten to do is to "love yourself."
xo
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